Tag Archives: emotionally healthy

Sex and Sexuality!

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It has been my observation that we are a society enamored by anything sexual.  You see it on TV all the time.  A woman walks on the beach in a skimpy bikini and the camera does a slo mo as she flings back her hair and moistens her lips and you wonder, “what is this an ad for”?  And way in the corner of the screen you might see a pair of jeans draped over a chair and the ad is about jeans.  In magazines we see scantily clad women, (considered pornography in the 50’s) in sexy poses and they’re trying to sell body lotion.   Billboards, internet, TV, magazines, everywhere you look.  How in the world can anyone survive intact with a healthy body image in the midst of the world in which we live?  How can we raise children in an environment where they are surrounded by this kind of message?

Children are products of their environment.  You’ve heard the old controversy, nurture vs. nature.  Well, the truth is it’s both.  But praise the Lord, because parents are HUGE influencers of their children and set the stage for a child’s moral values, their spiritual development, and a whole lot more.  So, my question to you parents out there is this…How are you influencing your children.  Are YOU doing the influencing or are you letting the world influence your children.  By what I see on TV, movies and in magazines, it’s a tough world out there in which to find one’s identity.  It’s so much worse than when I was a child.  So, it is even more important that as parents and guardians of our children that we speak louder than the world.

So, raise your voice and be an influencer.  Your children really are listening!

Christmas Time is Here

 

Well, now that Thanksgiving is over I can turn my attention to Christmas.  It’s sort of amazing that the day after Thanksgiving I couldn’t wait to put up decorations and hear Christmas music played but before Thanksgiving I didn’t want any of it.

Have you noticed that about your children?  And maybe you’ve noticed it about yourself too.  When we have a task at hand or a mindset of what something is supposed to be like we have a hard time changing gears and moving to that next thing.  We want closure, we want to complete the task, we want to finish what we started.

At the Preschool we see that all day playing out in the classroom.  The children may be in the middle of building a block tower and you tell them it’s time to clean up and wash hands for lunch.  Let the whining begin.  They don’t want to stop, they’re not done.  Or maybe they are on the playground and the teacher tells them to line up, it’s time to go inside.  You can hear a resounding groan go through the class.  They aren’t done playing.  They didn’t get to finish their game or they  just got to be “IT” and they didn’t get a chance to play the game.

Here at the Preschool, we call these times transitions.  And they are tricky little times to maneuver children into the next phase of the day.  You may have experienced this at home with your own children.  Here are a few ways that we have learned to help with the transition times.

1.  Give them some warning…5 more minutes…4 more minutes, 3 more minutes, etc.  It doesn’t matter that the 5 more minutes became 8 or 9.

2. Sing a song.  When we want the children to stop playing and clean up, some teachers sing a song.  We call it…the clean up song, what else?  This helps them change from what they are doing to the song and then to the next thing you want them to do.

3.  Some teachers turn the lights off and on, signalling that we’re going to have to change pretty soon so get ready.

I could go on and on with examples but you get the picture.  Be creative and come up with a few good ones of your own.

Let me give you one example out of my own life’s experiences with my children when they were young.  They’re grown and gone now but when we moved to Winter Park we got into the bad habit of going to Wal-Mart to get supplies for our new house and every time we went the kids got a toy.  Then one time I said No and of course the whining began because that’s what we always had been doing for the past couple of months.  It was quickly becoming a financial issue so I had to figure out how to go to Wal-Mart without always having to get something for the kids AND not have it be such a bad experience for all of us.  So, everytime we got in the car I would say…”Now when we go to Wal-Mart today we’re NOT getting a toy”.  I repeated that a couple of times as we were driving so they’d have it in their mind.  I even made them repeat it.  Did it cure them on the first try?  No.  But over the next couple of weeks they figured out that I was serious and then they quit asking everytime we went to Wal-Mart. 

Expectations.  We all have them, including children.  We just have to figure out as parents how to manage them to everyone’s advantage.  Christmas is going to be a time of a lot of transitions and expectations.  Coming up with some ideas and putting them into practice for the holidays will help in many ways you aren’t even aware of right now.  But you’ll be glad you did.

Happy experimenting.

Emotional health in sports

Sport in childhood. Association football, show...

Image via Wikipedia

I wanted to share something that I thought was worthwhile for all parents of young children to ponder about.  It comes out of a publication that I get called Exchange Everyday specifically for parents or teachers when dealing with children.

“Youth sports organizations are reaching deeper into the preschool years, urging parents to sign kids up for soccer or rugby as early as age 3.”  This alarming claim was made by Sue Shellenbarger in her

Wall Street

Journal column (June 3, 2011) that was brought to our
attention by Eric Karolak.  Shellenbarger shared guidelines

from experts on involving kids in organized sports…

  • Avoid competition, which can be stressful for kids before the age of 7 or 8.  Keep the focus on fun.
  • Don’t make a child specialize in one sport at an early age.  Sports researchers say young players have more fun and develop better as athletes if they are encouraged to play many sports.  Well-rounded kids are also far less likely to lose interest and burn out when they reach their teens.
  • Take at least one or two seasons off each year, so kids can rest their bodies.
  • Don’t allow yourself to feel pressured by other parents who enroll their kids in lots of organized programs.

Check out our website at http://www.alomaeclc.com

Stubborn children?

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Image by norfolkdistrict via Flickr

I’ve been asked what to do when you have stubborn children. I’ve thought about it and a couple of things have come to my mind. One thing that must happen is that you as the parent HAVE to win the battle. It is important that a child knows that you are the boss, that you are in control. Children have a need for safety and they want you to have control. Of course if you asked them they’d say a big resounding NO WAY but research into child development has shown that children thrive when they have boundaries and they want and need limits. It makes them feel safe. I remember when I was growing up. My dad would always make

sure the doors were locked when we went to bed. Now, when I was a kid I didn’t think too much about it, just that that was my Dad’s job, I guess. But when I got married I wanted my husband to lock up every night because it made me feel safe and it made me feel loved and taken care of. I didn’t realize that I wanted that or needed that until my husband didn’t do it. Then I missed it. I explained that to him and he began taking that responsibility to lock up the house.
It makes me feel good to know that he cares about me enough to do that. Well, I digressed a little but it is relevant. Children want you to take control so DO IT. Don’t be unreasonable and if you make a mistake, apologize and move forward. But be firm about what it is you will and will not tolerate. Set house rules. Set limits. Give choices so that they have options but options that you choose. And give consequences. This is extremely important. There will always
be consequences to every choice we make so teach them this when they are young and they will begin to make the right choice based on the consequence. Children are children. They aren’t designed to be in control. That creates chaos. Take charge. That probably won’t cure their stubborness but it’ll sure make you feel better when you know you are doing the right thing to help your child to grow and flourish and
become the wonderful person that they were meant to be. I encourage you to persevere. Hang in there. It’ll get better
Just be consistent.

Check out our website at http://www.alomaeclc.com