Tag Archives: parenting

Secret to Success!

Posted on May 23, 2014 | Leave a comment

If you took a survey of parents of young children and you asked them what success looked like for their child when they became an adult, what do you think they’d say?

Well, I think that they’d say they wanted them to be happy, successful in a career or job that they enjoyed.  Maybe some would say that they’d make plenty of money so they wouldn’t ‘want” for anything.  Maybe some would say married with children or own a house and  a car.  Well, whatever your definition of success in life is, the question remains…how do I get my child to that place.

Wow, what a good question.  If only there were an instruction manual that came with the child when they were born.  You know, like you get when you go to Ikea and purchase a set of shelves. only way better.

So, let’s explore how you can guide your children to becoming that successful adult.

First off, I’ve seen, in my many years of working with children, far too many adults who don’t know the answer to this question.  And the reason I know they didn’t know, is because of how they let their children treat them.

Successful adult children are not allowed to be the boss of their parents.  You won’t believe how many children I see that are allowed to be the boss of their parents.  Parents end up bowing to the small 4 year old child instead of being the parent.  They ask them what they want to eat and what they want to do, when then want to go to sleep and whether or not they want to go to school, etc. 

Successful adult children have learned that they don’t always get their way.  And they start learning this as young children who don’t always get their way.  Now, I’m not saying you can’t allow your child to get what they want sometimes.  But as a parent you need to be the one in control guiding them and giving them the choices that are appropriate for a young child to make.  I could write a whole book on this topic but suffice it to say, if you want your child to be successful as an adult, then make sure they know that you are the boss and you control the choices.

Stay tuned to my blog for more on this subject.  But if all parents could get a grasp on this one secret to success they would see a big difference in their children and be setting them on the path for success.  And, after all, isn’t that what we want for our children?

Keep honing those parenting skills!

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Are you my friend?

Posted on August 31, 2013 | Leave a comment

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Like me!  Friend me!  Read my blog!  Find me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest.  these are all things we’re hearing and seeing nowadays in this new world of technology.  And I have to say that I’m right there in the midst of it all, tweating, following, commenting and liking with the best of them.  Although I’m still learning the ins and outs of hashtags.

But what does that have to do with parenting, you might ask.  After all, this is supposed to be a blog about parenting tips.  Well read on, my friend and you’ll find out.

In today’s world where technology has become an obsession with us, parenting is even harder than ever.  There’s so much competition for your attention.  Televisions, IPads, IPods, IPhones, Smart Phones, Tablets, Computers.  DVD’s and  TV’s in cars, in the kitchen, in the bedrooms, etc.  Okay, you get my drift, right?  When do you talk with your children?  When do you hug them and play with them and “hang out” with them?  Because those are the times when you are teaching them, about your values, about your family history, about your likes and dislikes, about who you are and in turn you want want them to be.  Not to mention a big part of your day you’re at work and they’re in school.  When does the quality time come in?

It’s a tough question and one that every good parent has to navigate.  I’m not trying to lay a guilt trip on you.  I just want you to think through the issue and choose the things that will help your child succeed in life.  It’s not going to come from the gadgets that we all have.  And you don’t want it coming from the opinions of others.   You want to be the one to influence your children.  So my question to you is… Are you leading your children are you giving up  that important duty to others?  It’s a choice!  And the choice you make will have lasting impact on your child.  Make the right one!  

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Sex and Sexuality!

Posted on May 26, 2013 | Leave a comment

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It has been my observation that we are a society enamored by anything sexual.  You see it on TV all the time.  A woman walks on the beach in a skimpy bikini and the camera does a slo mo as she flings back her hair and moistens her lips and you wonder, “what is this an ad for”?  And way in the corner of the screen you might see a pair of jeans draped over a chair and the ad is about jeans.  In magazines we see scantily clad women, (considered pornography in the 50’s) in sexy poses and they’re trying to sell body lotion.   Billboards, internet, TV, magazines, everywhere you look.  How in the world can anyone survive intact with a healthy body image in the midst of the world in which we live?  How can we raise children in an environment where they are surrounded by this kind of message?

Children are products of their environment.  You’ve heard the old controversy, nurture vs. nature.  Well, the truth is it’s both.  But praise the Lord, because parents are HUGE influencers of their children and set the stage for a child’s moral values, their spiritual development, and a whole lot more.  So, my question to you parents out there is this…How are you influencing your children.  Are YOU doing the influencing or are you letting the world influence your children.  By what I see on TV, movies and in magazines, it’s a tough world out there in which to find one’s identity.  It’s so much worse than when I was a child.  So, it is even more important that as parents and guardians of our children that we speak louder than the world.

So, raise your voice and be an influencer.  Your children really are listening!

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Christmas Time is Here

Posted on December 2, 2011 | Leave a comment

 

Well, now that Thanksgiving is over I can turn my attention to Christmas.  It’s sort of amazing that the day after Thanksgiving I couldn’t wait to put up decorations and hear Christmas music played but before Thanksgiving I didn’t want any of it.

Have you noticed that about your children?  And maybe you’ve noticed it about yourself too.  When we have a task at hand or a mindset of what something is supposed to be like we have a hard time changing gears and moving to that next thing.  We want closure, we want to complete the task, we want to finish what we started.

At the Preschool we see that all day playing out in the classroom.  The children may be in the middle of building a block tower and you tell them it’s time to clean up and wash hands for lunch.  Let the whining begin.  They don’t want to stop, they’re not done.  Or maybe they are on the playground and the teacher tells them to line up, it’s time to go inside.  You can hear a resounding groan go through the class.  They aren’t done playing.  They didn’t get to finish their game or they  just got to be “IT” and they didn’t get a chance to play the game.

Here at the Preschool, we call these times transitions.  And they are tricky little times to maneuver children into the next phase of the day.  You may have experienced this at home with your own children.  Here are a few ways that we have learned to help with the transition times.

1.  Give them some warning…5 more minutes…4 more minutes, 3 more minutes, etc.  It doesn’t matter that the 5 more minutes became 8 or 9.

2. Sing a song.  When we want the children to stop playing and clean up, some teachers sing a song.  We call it…the clean up song, what else?  This helps them change from what they are doing to the song and then to the next thing you want them to do.

3.  Some teachers turn the lights off and on, signalling that we’re going to have to change pretty soon so get ready.

I could go on and on with examples but you get the picture.  Be creative and come up with a few good ones of your own.

Let me give you one example out of my own life’s experiences with my children when they were young.  They’re grown and gone now but when we moved to Winter Park we got into the bad habit of going to Wal-Mart to get supplies for our new house and every time we went the kids got a toy.  Then one time I said No and of course the whining began because that’s what we always had been doing for the past couple of months.  It was quickly becoming a financial issue so I had to figure out how to go to Wal-Mart without always having to get something for the kids AND not have it be such a bad experience for all of us.  So, everytime we got in the car I would say…”Now when we go to Wal-Mart today we’re NOT getting a toy”.  I repeated that a couple of times as we were driving so they’d have it in their mind.  I even made them repeat it.  Did it cure them on the first try?  No.  But over the next couple of weeks they figured out that I was serious and then they quit asking everytime we went to Wal-Mart. 

Expectations.  We all have them, including children.  We just have to figure out as parents how to manage them to everyone’s advantage.  Christmas is going to be a time of a lot of transitions and expectations.  Coming up with some ideas and putting them into practice for the holidays will help in many ways you aren’t even aware of right now.  But you’ll be glad you did.

Happy experimenting.

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